In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
