That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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