Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
