I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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