You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
