you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
