Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wish I only lived at night.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
