hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
