I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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