They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
