There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
