so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
