I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
