Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
