If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
being pregnant is like rehab
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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