I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
