Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I want a musical about memes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
