You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
