You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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