Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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