She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
