So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
