I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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