I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
