he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Operation Purity has been aborted
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
