People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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