watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
