I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
