You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
