He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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