Whod you bang
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
