Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
