No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
