I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
