then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
