You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I party with great urgency now.
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