party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
