i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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