Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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