is your mom at the bar?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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