life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
