I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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