tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
