I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
