either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
