Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
