We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
