she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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