u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
