The maid of honor just puked.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
