I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
