don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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