Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
