I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
