Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
